Turning forty is not a moment which everyone wants to celebrate,not least because it means there is rather more of your life to lookback on than there is to anticipate. Even Grandstand (BBC1) is notimmune to the ageing process, with some of its better featuresreceding rapidly, and that layer of padding around the middle of itsschedule growing thicker by the year. You don't need to be a doctorto realise that it needs to cut down on its intake of obscure motorsport, and fast.
No matter how uncertain the future, though, the first 40 yearswere mostly worth celebrating, and Grandstand duly sucked in itstummy and partied. And at Ascot, no less, where the 'new-styleparade featuring sports and events', as the Radio Times had it,beganback in 1958. If you grew up with Grandstand, and at least half ofthe present population did, then it was a reminder of two things.First, that you're not getting any younger yourself, and second, theincredible upheaval which has come upon sports broadcasting inlittlemore than a decade.
Twenty years ago, Grandstand WAS sport on television as far asmost children were concerned. Serious sport, anyway - let's leaveMick McManus out of this. In fact, in the winter months, itsometimes seemed as if Grandstand WAS Saturday, even on those rareweekends when everything was cancelled and scrambling and ping-pongwas as exciting as it got. If something wasn't on Grandstand, itsvery existence was open to doubt. Not any longer. Half of theguests at yesterday's party probably slipped away in mid- afternoon,and popped next door to catch the England game on Sky. Rugby league,the Twickenham internationals, world-class boxing and several of thebetter racecourses have also deserted them in recent years.The real problem, though, is not that Grandstand has changed, butthat the world has changed around it. Back in the 1970s, we didn'tknow any better. If Grandstand reckoned that curling or a netballinternational was the best sport around on a particular afternoon,then who were we to argue? Now, though, live, top-quality sport ontelevision is taken for granted - by anyone with Sky Sports, anyway -and available on a daily basis. The free-to-view alternative willnever seem the same again.Kick-boxing never quite made it on to Grandstand, although itprobably got an occasional airing on World of Sport during the closeseason for cliff-diving in Acapulco. It was the surprise TV hit oflast week, though, as John 'Boots' Hartson took on a plucky littleIsraeli challenger at a venue in east London.Quite why anyone should have been pointing a video camera at theevents on West Ham's training ground a few weeks ago is anyone'sguess, but it certainly made for extraordinary viewing. And the mosttelling reaction to Hartson's two-footed assault on Eyal Berkovic,which he followed up with a kick to the chin while his opponent wasstill taking a count on the canvas, was that of Ian Wright, who ishardly averse to the odd bit of afters himself. As Hartson wasdragged away, Wright was rooted to the spot a few feet away, wide-eyed and open-mouthed with astonishment. The whole thing must havebeen even worse than it looked.As yet, there have been no reports of schoolboys 'doing a Hartson'on an unfortunate playground team-mate, but it was hardly the rightexample to be giving to the next generation of footballers. Unless,of course, we really want to grow up to be like Paul Ince and DavidBeckham. Glenn Hoddle was forced to do without both of them againstBulgaria yesterday as the result of stupid lapses into undisciplinedaggression, so it seems fair to assume that mental aberrations arebeyond the reach even of Eileen Drewery's mystical powers.Then again, if you had caught Drewery's appearance on Fergie's newchat show - Sarah, that is, not Alex - you would wonder how she canever be allowed within 10 miles of the training camp. On SurvivingLife (Sky One), there could be no doubting the strength of Drewery'sfaith in God, or her belief in her own power to heal, and whiletherewere probably also Victorian quacks who truly believed that theirpotent potions would make people better, this is hardly the mostdreadful of offences.More disturbing, though, were Drewery's musings on penance andreincarnation. For instance, she feels that Hitler may be payingfor his crimes against humanity with a long series of reincarnationsas a starving child in Africa. This probably goes some way towardsexplaining why Darren Anderton spent his brief time on the pitchagainst Sweden last month hanging around on the wing like a bemusedspectator. He was obviously trying to work out what planet she'sfrom.
