A FEW weeks ago, one of the Sunday papers produced a list of themost powerful people in Britain. The Prime Minister was top of thepops followed by Bill Gates, who would come second on most nationallists. Close behind was Rupert Murdoch, one of whose minions, VicWakeling, this week found himself temporarily king of the heap.
A few weeks ago Wakeling, in whose gift lie the live TV rights toEngland and Scotland football matches, told Kate Hoey, the SportsMinister, that ITV could share England's second play-off game - theperfect PR opportunity for Sky to walk among the peasants dispensingalms.
However, when they drew Scotland on Wednesday, Wakeling was lessforthcoming for the first leg, granting to BBC Scotland an 'as live'broadcast after the match, as happened on ITV when England went toRome two years ago.
That goalless epic was important enough, but Scotland v Englandin a major international is of a quite different order. This will bea battle waged in the nation's very soul, and the nation will surelyfeel it had a right to better treatment.
Sky, of course, can argue that everyone's free to buy a dish -but from their industrial estate in Middlesex, what they fail torealise is that a still sizeable chunk of the populace simply can'tafford it. If Sky controlled all the football, do they fondlybelieve the entire country would sign up? I suspect the sport wouldsuffer badly.
Match of the Day is as inviolable as the Queen Mum. Look atboxing, out on its feet. The only time snooker catches the popularimagination is when it is on the BBC for three weeks. The same withthat fortnight of tennis in the summer. Golf should beware: Sky'saudience for the Ryder Cup climax peaked at 600,000.
Not that any of this matters in the long run, at least not thedetails: in a few years we'll all have wrist watches with 100channels of bilge, plus the Internet, e-mail, and satellite globalpositioning. Every football club will have its own TV station; BillGates will be leader of the free world, and Manchester City willjust be getting promoted into the Premiership.
Rugby union, too, is playing a dangerous game, although its WorldCup is safe enough in ITV's hands, even if their coverage does lackthat air of authority only the BBC can bring. I'm surprised theydon't get Des Lynam on the case. Nicky Campbell's wink, wink, nudge,nudge performance on Thursday's highlights programme suggests he'snot fit to trim Des's moustache.
Though he seems mostly to host discussion programmes, Campbell'stalents are various. My mum used to love his show on Radio 1 a fewyears ago, when he apparently displayed a curious skill. Listenerswould phone in, and he would chat to them. After a couple of minuteshe would tell them their star sign, and was hardly ever wrong.
Sadly, he didn't extend this service to his guests, Will Carlingand Thierry Lacroix, on Thursday, though I think he should considerit in future. I'm not sure what sign Carling is, but he's certainlyin the ascendant again after his suspension from public life - whenhis splitting up with his girlfriend induced an absurd wave of moralhysteria and nauseating self-righteousness.
He has effected a cautious comeback, abasing himself on chatshows, but he's now firmly back on track. He's difficult to warm toon screen, with a reined-in quality that, admittedly, does have adroll upside. Just after Neil Jenkins' record-breaking kick againstSamoa, Campbell asked Carling: 'How do you think he feels?' and thecamera homed in on the goal machine's craggy, impassive face, likesomething out of Ryan's Daughter. 'Ecstatic,' murmured Carling.
Alan Shearer, another sportsman with an equivocal public image,went on McCoist and MacAulay (BBC1 Tuesday) to talk about... wellnot much, really. He has this curious habit of finishing eachquestion with a tight-lip smile that in other people usually hintsat a slight ruefulness. With Shearer, it's tight- lipped in everysense: 'Right, I've finished what I'm saying. It wasn't much, butI'm being polite, and it's all you're going to get.'
He seems to have an obsession with the media, using his paranoiaas motivation. Talking about the dentist's chair incident beforeEuro 96, he said as much. Hence interviews are a game of hide andseek. On McCoist and MacAulay every reply came as if read from anofficial press release.
But why should he entertain us? I'm making the usual mistake ofexpecting sportspeople to be good at everything. We don't ask LilySavage to play centre-forward for England. Now that would catchCraig Brown on the hop.
